I've written this in response to Anna's Friday 500 post over on Too Many Annas. This is the first time I've attempted something like this and the first time I've written any fiction/roleplayed in years. Was a lot of fun though, especially as its not too serious. At the very least its something a bit different. Here it is then. ;)
"...in five hundred words or less." completed Zignab.
"I thought it was perfectly clear." sighed the demon, "From henceforth all requests for demonic assistance must be composed-"
"Yes, I heard you." I growled, "But I can't help but feel you're not comprehending the gravity of the situation. I command. You follow. Otherwise..." I left the threat hanging.
"Yes, yes, yes." Said the imp starting to look a little uncomfortable. "And as ever I'm more than happy to serve but its - well - ever since little Zignab Jr came along, its getting to be a bit inconvinent."
"Inconvenient?" I hissed.
"Ummm...yes...well, its like last week, I was giving the little git his maggots for lunch and before I knew it I was yanked away and you were only collecting some herbs! You didn't even need me!"
"Listen-" I started.
"And the wife, she found him outside playing with the ponies. With the ponies!" He continued, heedless of my growing anger. "She said to me, 'No imp of mine is growing up to be a goody two-shoes.' And the names she called me, well, they'd have made even you blush."
"Damnit!" I muttered under my breath. My assailant was back, looking somewhat more irritated than he had when I last seen him. Demanding gold from me was no way to get in my good books though. I swiftly murmured the incantations and took a few moments of pleasure from watching him convulse in pain before the terror took him and sent him fleeing out of the alley screaming for the second time in as many minutes. I turned my attention back to the imp only to find him whimpering and crying little tears of fire. The situation was getting out of control. "Snap out of it!" I shouted, exerting my will. The imp twitched momentarily before reluctantly responding.
"Can't we all just get along?", he implored.
"No. But we can certainly make me feel much better.", I replied grinning as we set off in pursuit.